更新时间:2018-09-11 16:54作者:三水老师
The film is moving and entertaining . Ge You’s humorous lines will make you laugh.
It is a masterpiece. It shows the theme of human goodness and also uncovers humorously the problem of common thievery on public transport in Mainland China. Go and see A World Without Thieves.It will make your heart shocking⑦.
教师点评:
本篇习作以三段式展开,能使读者对这部电影有个清晰的认识,能激发读者的观看欲望。 本文语言流畅,句式多样, 如使用了非限制性定语从句which is directed by Feng Xiaogang. including结构、现在分词做定语working as construction worker;过去分词做定语moved by Sha Gen's innocence(纯真) , also known as Uncle Li (played by Ge You)。在语言的运用上使用了一些较高级的词汇如: a number of; entertaining;masterpiece;shocked等,增加了文章的亮点。当然,文中也存在着一些明显的需要改善的地方,建议修改如下:
①在is后加a。a Chinese action &drama film.
②把a 去掉。在职位、官衔等名词前一般不用冠词。
③把saving改为savings。savings意思为 “积蓄;存款”。
④把high改为highly。highly意思为 “高度地;非常”,表示抽象意义。
⑤把decide改为decides。本句的主语为Wang Li,谓语动词用单数。
⑥把leading改为led 。thieves与lead为被动关系,用过去分词作后置定语。
⑦把shocking改为shocked。shock意思为 “使震惊;使震撼”。 your heart与shock为被动关系。